Drifter

I stumbled across a poem I wrote a few years ago when I was going through a lot in my life. I think sometimes we all feel this way, sometimes no matter how strong of a Christian we are we question the reality of God's Love for us...

Drifter:
I'm a drifter these wings and heart of mine.
One day I'm walking in the Light and the next shadows are all I see.
Something happens, I'm on the bottom again.
The trust I had in God has fallen down like a building crumbling to the ground.
I'm lost I don't know where to go;
I'm not ready to turn and walk back into His supposedly open arms.
Alone, alone is what I feel in this battle for my soul

Your Wrod promises, "I will never leave you nor forsake you"
So whether or not I can see or feel you, OR whether or not I want to,
You Are Here with me??

Even when my wings become heavier with my own fears and doubts
You Are Here with me!

Right now your "promises" seem so empty.
These questions keep coming to my mind.
Where are you?
I miss your smile I miss you laugh!
Does it help to say I love you?

You know, they all say that I do not know how much you love me,
but where is that love now?
Another day spent in the shadows.

I sit and stare at the window with the closed blinds
fearing that letting in the sunshine will let in the hope that I'm longing for.
Guided by a simple faith.
I love what i cannot see, the one i cannot touch.
The one that knows me better than I do, I love you.

These wings of mine won't fly with out you,
I hate feeling lonely,
I need your love,
I need your Mercy,
I need your Grace,
I need your LOVE.

Remove the doubt that makes me so unsure.
You say come to me with faith like a child then I will enter into your Glory;
So that's it?
I have to loose all the formality, loose all the guilt and just say yes Jesus I love you
because you love me?

Yes Jesus, I love you!

but,
right now your "promises" seem so empty.
These questions keep coming to my mind.
Where are you?
I miss your smile,
I miss your laugh!
Does it help to say I love you?

You know they all say that I do not know how much you love me,
but where is that love now?
Does it help to say i love you?
Does it help to say I love you?
Does it help to say I love you?
I love you, I love you, I love you...