trying a NEW thing...

IM TRYING TO IMPORT MY OLD BLOG TO HERE... lets hope this works...

Pre-DETOX

Okay SO i'm writing this the night before I start my 7-day detox. Part of this transitions lifestyle "diet" program is to detox your body from all the chemicals that consume through processed foods, coffee, etc...so for the next 7 days I will be drinking only water, eating 3 servings of fruit/day and eating as many vegetables that I want. No coffee, no meat, no bread, no milk/dairy products, nothing but fruits and vegetables. THIS is the HARD part for me. I rely on food to give me energy throughout my day and for the next 7 days all I have to rely on is vegetables...yikes.

I'm also going to add things to my water that are supposed to help with the detox, one is i'll be drinking hot lemon water first thing every morning (this is supposed to kick-start your metabolism), then then i'll be drinking "aloe-vera water which is supposed to help with the bloating that we all have, finally i'll be drinking "sassy water" which is lemons and cucumbers sliced up in water...not sure how all of these taste, but I'm up for an adventure especially if i'll feel better in the end.

SO here is a BEFORE picture...stay tuned for an AFTER picture...





i'm ready to be healthier for Nate, for Me, for my fruitfulness as a minister, all in the Name of Jesus my Savior.

BIG momma

OKAY so those of you that have recently started reading my blog, I'm guessing that you are wondering why it is titled 'big momma' well...it is simple...I am a BIG momma, I have tried several diets, I have tried working out, I have started using sugar free and fat free substitutes in everything I can. I still have not been successful in any major weight loss.

SO I started writing this blog to keep myself accountable and to kind of just write my struggles and triumphs on attempting to be a healthier individual, not just healthier by loosing weight but healthier spiritually, emotionally, and physically...this will be a life long goal, with short term goals in between...(the blog has also just kind of turned into a personal blog, with different stories in my journey of being a single mom).

SO I've got a small support group a couple of close friends who are supporting me in my weight loss journey and I've decided to do this program called Transitions Life Style. It is a 12 week program that starts with a 7-day detox, and then teaches one how to cook and eat healthier and teaches one what happens to your body as you consume certain kinds of food. I have always looked for the easy way out in my weight loss journey, and this is not an easy way out, this will probably be one of the hardest things I will do because I LOVE food SO much!

SO here goes all my weight, all my poor self esteem, all my fatigue and indigestion...HERE is to NEW me, I'm doing this for me, I'm doing this for Nate and I'm doing it all in Jesus' Holy and Awesome Name!

Despair and Sacrifice in the Lenten Season

So as I continue down my Lenten journey, I feel like I have connected with God, and I continue to seek yet a deeper connection. God has shown me 2 instances of despair and sacrifice that normally I wouldn't of thought much of, but sense I have been trying to be more receptive to what God has for me, I believe He has revealed these stories to me...

The first one was a few days ago, I went to a restaraunt for breakfast and to get some studying done. I asked the waitress to sit me back where it was fairly quiet, that didn't last long, as a large family piled in right next to my table. As I was slightly distracted by the family setteling into their table I overheard a little old man telling the waitress that they were all gathering to honor his grandson with a meal because he was returning over seas to fulfill his duty to the marine corps today. The first thought that came into my mind, was wow, what a sacrifice, what a great sacrifice for lent, how brave of that man, how scary for that family, how scary for me, this man, younger than me was sacrificing the possibility of his life for not only me but for possibly all of our lives and for his country, how humbling is that?! and I sit here and reflect on my piddly sacrifices...




This picture is not very clear, but it begings my second story of Lenten despair. It was taken from my car while I was sitting at a stoplight, I was in between Kansas City and Independence. This man was dressed well, ironed clothes, decent shoes, a coat and a hat, he obviously spent some money on creating a sturdy sign that said that he was seeking employment and it gave his phone number. I am not sure how he lost his old job, or what lead him to standing on the street corner begging for employment. I have been in that spot, I was laid off shortly before Christmas 2008 and spent a while with out a job, but I never was so desperate as to stand on the street corner to ask for a job, I was blessed with a job, in fact I have had 4 jobs since I lost my job, and am what I consider myself extraordinarily blessed... I cannot imagine the despair this man is going through, how close he and or his family is to being homeless, food-less, electricity-less, etc... How brave, how scary, how humbling...

so as I wrap up these sacrifice and despair stories, my question is, What does God have planned for them? Why did God bring me these two instances? I find myself still asking...what does God has for me?, do I need to make a larger sacrifice?, do I need to humble myself into despair?? what oh God do you have for me?

Lent

So I find myself writing this during the season of Lent.

Lent is the 40 days (not including Sundays) before Easter.

there are 35 days left. Usually preachers preach that you need to give something bad and take on something good during lent. So that we can grow closer to God.

when I was young, I gave up cursing in my language, it worked, I don't curse near as much as I used to, and I am more sensitive to those words now.

I've given up meat, it didn't last... I've given up Red Meat one year and that stuck for about 3 years, i'm eating red meat occasionally now...I've given up soda pop, I've given up chocolate, I've given up all candy, I've tried giving up a lot of things, they didn't really work as I really enjoy eating sweets and drinking pop. so really why do preachers still preach giving up something for lent?

What is the purpose for lent? I asked on my facebook page today "in one word how would describe the season of lent?"

I've gotten these responses so far:

-Struggle
-Reconnecting
-Seeking
-Re-habiting
-Revival

the thoughts and prayers that I keep repeating to myself sense last week's Ash Wednesday service is those of repentance and seeking forgiveness, and I find myself constantly asking myself what is it that God wants me to get out of these "special" 40 days before Easter?? How can I hear You different, how can I feel You different, how can I understand You differently, how oh God can I be used by you differently, or better?? What oh God do you have for me, I am merely a sinner, I am trying to understand You, and understand this calling you've placed on my heart, what oh God do you have for me, I am open, I am willing... what oh God do you have for me?

and maybe this is what Lent is all about, maybe Lent is about simply seeking a deeper connection with God... I am hoping that as a seminary student and ordination candidate I can develop my understandings of this season so that when it comes time for me to preach 'Lenten' themes I can preach it with vigor and reality.

so there is 35 days left of lent, i'm not giving up anything, but I am seeking what God has for me. I am excited for Easter. I love Easter, it is my favorite time of the Christian year...




be blessed!!

failure

WOW so that whole idea of keeping myself accountable via blogging didn't work at all. however I have tried to squeeze in my day a quiet time in the morning, and it has added a bit of peace to my life.

I also have started to work out 3 times/week, I've only done it three times--one week, but I like it, my body is still sore, but its a good soreness... hopefully by the summer i'll be able to fit into some smaller clothes?! :-)

SO i'm not sure what this blog will turn into, maybe just my ramblings...who knows...

right now its Sunday evening and i'm preparing for a busy week of school and work. Ive got my first New Testament quiz on Tuesday...yikes!

This week on Wednesday marks the beginning of the Lent season, a time that ends with Easter and is usually my favorite time of year!.

catch you all later.

Day 5,6,7,8

Well I never realized that the weekend would cause a delay in my postings, however obviously it does :-)

I've been a little ill to my stomach all weekend and really didn't feel like doing anything at all, unfortunately being a mom, doing nothing never really happens, there is always a diaper to change and food to fix, and laundry to do...

I did however keep up with my small devotions in the mornings, I have been so enlightened by how praying and spending just a few short minutes with God in the morning changes my attitude on the day.

I have however been very emotional the past few days due to the drama with my soon to be ex-husband and all of that Jazz...I have tried hard to forgive him, and move on past the hurt that he has laid upon my heart, my self esteem, and my emotions, but I find it very difficult to do!

I have realized tho that this un-forgiveness and bitterness in my heart is keeping me from moving forward with God. So I've given my worries, doubts, and problems to Him, like it says to in 1 Peter chapter 5 verse 7. Because I have shed a lot of tears over this, I have reflected on this quote from Frederick Buechner, maybe it will shed some light for you too:
"Laugh till you weep. "Weep till there’s nothing left but to laugh at your weeping. In the end it’s all one.”

this week my goal is to make a plan and figure out when I can work out every day... lets see if it happens...