OH MY!

I can NOT believe its been OVER a month since I last posted. I'm sure you are wondering WHAT HAPPENED to her?

Well folks I've YO-YO'd up 5 down 5 up 5 down 5 up 5 down 5. I have extreme bad weeks and extreme good weeks, but still have not lost more than 5 pounds WHAT DO I DO? I have NO idea!

I have tried SO HARD to incorporate healthy eating into my daily life style, but when I'm having a bad week, I cannot stay away from the fast food places therefore adding the 5 lost pounds back. This week that is about to end has been an extremely bad week and I'm a little depressed in myself.

I have stocked my cabinets with healthy granola bars that are high in protein and low in calories, but when I'm having a bad day, or an exhausted kind of day (like today) that is the last darn thing I want to eat! I want something comforting, mashed potatoes, fried anything, and of course a nice cool refreshing soda!

SO MY QUESTION to YOU healthy people out there. HOW can I change my mind or taste buds so when I'm feeling tired or stressed or overwhelmed I can still grab something healthy to eat that tastes good? to fulfill the hunger stab.

OR HOW CAN I GET AWAY FROM STRESS EATING?? Like I said in my last post I am addicted to food. When I feel sad, or mad, or angry, or happy, I eat something that tastes amazing and when I do this I feel better, this then wears off in a bout an hour and I might look for something else to keep that feeling going...much like an alcoholic. except with food addiction it is almost more severe because the "food/sugar high" can wear off in as quickly as 30 min, causing more sweets to enter the mouth. SO how do I STOP this addiction? I'm sorry but I really do not think a fad diet will work. It's almost like I need rehab, but do those exist for food addicts? I do not have time right now anyway. I am SO close to finishing school, in the back of my head I keep thinking loosing weight will be easier when I do not have so much on my plate (pun not intended, but still funny), but then I think if I don't do this now it will never happen. The fatter and older I get the harder it is for my body to move. This week has been a bad food week and I can feel that in my body, I hurt more, I have more indigestion, and irregularity when I eat bad foods, when I do not exercise I do not sleep as well, so when i'm being bad, I can literally feel it in my body and I hate it.

Speaking of exercise, I try hard to do at least 30 min a day. I try to park far away from wherever I'm going and walk more. This week I have done no exercising at all. I have found a wonderful walk at home video that even Nate likes to do with me sometimes. I love it and it takes about 45min--1hour to do the whole thing I did this 3 times two weeks ago and felt amazing! I wish I had the energy to keep this up!

I'm frustrated with my journey and totally feel like giving up. I told my friends I would try weight watchers, maybe that will help. I don't know. I really do not know what to do. Why is loosing weight harder than gaining weight?

~struggling and still fat~



UPDATE: I have found that my eating when I'm studying or writing late on the computer at night has changed, which is good. I do the carbonated water and gum option, so I'm still getting the carbonation that I crave and a little bit of sweetness and chewing motion from the chewing gum.