Week Three--FOOD ADICT

Week Three
WOW I cannot believe its been Three WEEKS!

I have lost 5 pounds. That's it, yes only 5 pounds. Nothing like the 'biggest looser'. I am a little discouraged by my number on the scale. I thought I was doing SO good.

I have to remember that at least I'm not gaining weight, and I am 5 pounds lighter, if I keep this up (about 5 pounds a month) that's 60 pounds in a year. (Thanks to my little sister for this reminder)

I'm feeling a little better, I'm not as sluggish, I don't always feel the need to nap or rest, and when I work out I feel really good about myself. I keep telling myself It's just NOT enough.

THEN I stumbled across this website:
Are You a Food Addict?
Whether the obsession with food is a true addiction or simply a bad habit, one thing is clear: Your health is on the line. Obesity, psychological disorders, and diabetes are just a few of the health risks associated with compulsive eating.

If you're worried that you may have a food addiction, FoodAddicts.org recommends that you answer the following questions:

1. Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found you just couldn't?
2. Do you think about food or your weight constantly?
3. Do you find yourself attempting one diet or food plan after another, with no lasting success?
4. Do you binge and then "get rid of the binge" through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging?
5. Do you eat differently in private than you do in front of other people?
6. Has a doctor or family member ever approached you with concern about your eating habits or weight?
7. Do you eat large quantities of food at one time?
8. Is your weight problem due to your "nibbling" all day long?
10. Do you eat to escape from your feelings?
11. Do you eat when you're not hungry?
12. Have you ever discarded food, only to retrieve it and eat it later?
13. Do you eat in secret?
14. Do you fast or severely restrict your food intake?
15. Have you ever stolen other people's food?
16. Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have "enough?"
17. Do you feel driven to exercise excessively to control your weight?
18. Do you obsessively calculate the calories you've burned against the calories you've eaten?
19. Do you frequently feel guilty or ashamed about what you've eaten?
20. Are you waiting for your life to begin "when you lose the weight?"
21. Do you feel hopeless about your relationship with food?

I answer YES to 12 of these. SO I guess the next thing I have to say is

HELLO MY NAME IS REBECCA AND I AM ADDICTED TO FOOD.

I never thought I would ever come to this. I never thought there could be an addiction to food, I mean we need it to survive. I never thought as a pastor, as a good person, that I'd ever be addicted to anything. But here I am 150 lbs over weight and struggling every single day with what goes in my mouth. SO now WHAT??? The only thing I can do for now is to keep up what I'm doing and pray real hard that God will miraculously change my mind about how I feel about food.

I see all these commercials about weight watchers, and Jenny, and what not, but I cannot afford a subscription to anything. Its hard enough affording fresh fruits a vegetables every week. that leads me to another question WHY are processed foods SO MUCH CHEAPER? WE ARE KILLING OURSELVES, RAISE THE PRICE of processed foods and LOWER THE PRICE OF LEAN MEAN AND FRESH PRODUCE!!!!!!! Maybe I should just start a garden...

I'm considering a cut in my calories. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm barely able to meet where I'm at now, but maybe that's my answer for better results. That's all for now folks, I'm gonna keep at it. I'll update you next week.

STRESS = BAD

SO
I've had 2 bad days this week. One was Monday when I forgot it was a holiday and that Nate didn't have school. I was exhausted from a busy weekend at work, and Nate was in this mood to where whatever we did he did not want to do it. SO I found myself away from home, away from my healthy food, and I jumped back into my old habits of running through a fast food place. The same thing happened yesterday on Thursday, I had appointments out all day, and I did not bring healthy food with me. however when I weighed this morning I did NOT re-gain those 3lbs, which made me feel better.

SO how do I deal with eating healthy and being away from home??? I guess I have to get into the head thought of "well before I leave the house I need to pack some food to go" which I can, that's just something else to adjust into my morning routine. My favorite new food that I actually tried and enjoyed this morning was Greek Yogurt with a little bit of granola.

The only thing I'm worried about my new healthy food kick, is Nate, I hope he will adjust to eating the new food, it will be just as good for him as it is for me. However ever since he was a baby he has been underweight and small so I never felt bad if he ate a lot of calories, his metabolism is nothing like mine!!
Next week, the 23rd. I have a J-Term (January term) class which meets from 8-5(ish) everyday for 1 week. then I have the last week of Jan. off and the spring semester starts Feb 6th. So I have until Feb 6th to get into a healthy eating routine. Lord help me!

Also like really my muscles ACHE from working out! yesterday my leg hurt so bad I didn't want to walk...I did, but I didn't want to move it! When I was more active (before marriage/child/grad school)I don't remember the aches and pains so bad, but maybe that's just because I'm getting old!

SO that's all for now folks. I'm working out tonight! I prob won't blog again until Monday as its another busy weekend!

its a battle--week one

It's a battle

I have to learn how to tell myself NO!

Tomorrow makes one week since I started this. I weighed myself...I'm three pounds lighter.

I feel no different, Im still tired, I still LOVE food, I guess I feel a little bit happeir that I'm eating healthier, but if I am honest, I feel no different. So I gotta keep it up.

I've been tracking my food intake and my exercise outtake on my iPhone/iPad using the Lose It App!



I LOVE it, It sends me a reminder when I don't log my things. It has all the foods I have eaten!

as far as working out goes, I worked out 3 times last week. I used to always opt for the elevator when I came to a set of stairs, now they don't seem as daunting. I am thinking about getting a treadmill at my house, not sure tho, I love the out doors I just hate the winter. For now tho I go to campus to work out because we have a small work out facility there. When I'm there I usually do the bike and the treadmill, on the treadmill I usually Walk the straights, and run/jog the curves.


this allows me to increase my heart rate for a few seconds, and then I calm down on the straight parts of the track, I usually do this for a mile, then I ride the bike for a mile or 15 min. whatever is longer. Not sure if this is the best work out for me, but that's what I do. I hope once I get into a cardio routine I can add weight lifting... I HATE, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY HATE, MY FAT ARMS! If you have any tips on how to shrink my fat arms PLEASE let me know!

those are my thoughts for today...

scales

SO like I said I bought a scale, it's kinda fancy...its digital, I already hate it! I have actually gained 20lbs since giving birth AHH!! I cried, I'm SO discouraged. I'M SO SICK WITH MYSELF, I DISGUST MYSELF! ALL I can say is food is evil! maybe I'm just so upset because I haven't had soda in like 5 days and I REALLY MISS IT! Ya know kinda like an addict who gets cranky without a fix. THE HORRIBLE thing I ate a candy bar after I weighed myself, why? probably cause I was sad and it made me feel a bit better..I MUST get out of eating when I'm sad, it only hurts me more...

SO this morning I woke up, I did not eat breakfast, I was not hungry. I just now got hungry at about 1pm. This is what I made:



its a salad with grilled chicken, TOTAL CALORIES UNDER 300: I cut up 1 green pepper, 4 celery stocks, 2 roma tomatoes,6 baby carrots, and 1/2 a head of lettuce, tossed it all together and put about half of it in my bowl, the other half I'll have tomorrow. the best part was the dressing:



I made my own! I squeezed 1/4 of a lime and sprinkled kosher salt over my salad and tossed it together, the lime works its way into all the veggies and makes it tart kinda like an Italian dressing...how many calories? 10!!

I just ate it, and I'm still a tad hungry so I think i'll have a Kashi Granola bar, tons of protein and few calories.

ANY WAY I'm trying hard to not eat junk, its HARD, I LOVE SWEETS AND PASTRY'S! LOVE THEM!! I feel happier when I eat them, but when I look at the scale I HATE it... so I MUST STOP.

OH and I'm going out tonight...with a BOY...! ;-) stayed tuned! NIX THAT PLANS CHANGED... oh well nothing like a movie night with my lil man!

weight loss

SO when I started this blog it was supposed to be a journal of my weight loss struggles and successes etc. it kind of warped into just a general blog about my crazy life. In 2009 I started seminary and still had all my baby weight (Nate born in 2007), and started Seminary to pursue my calling and my Masters Degree. I have been up 20lbs and down 20lbs for the past 3+ years. Well its Jan 2012 and I am SO TIRED of being FAT! Its been 4 years since I've been in any sort of relationship with a man (I'm still taking applications!) not that I've had a whole lot of time to date, but it still stinks that Im almost 30 and do not have a boyfriend, I credit that to my busy life and STILL being obese! Well last semester I joined a support group called H.O.T. (Honoring our Temples) and we support each other on the process of the pains and joys of weight loss. I love this group, but with all the support I still have yet to loose a single pound this semester. I just don't give my health the energy I do to the rest of my life, I don't know why. It's just easier to grab fast food than think about being healthy, and fitting in exercise in MY busy life ha ha ha YEA RIGHT... well it's time to STOP taking the easy way out. The one thing I've learned in my line of work, and in seminary is that life is not easy and it takes a lot of hard work to be successful, so why not apply that line of thought into my weight loss?? I am the only one holding myself back, so lets DO this thing... what I HOPE to follow (and please those who read keep me motivated by asking me did you blog today??) are daily/weekly blogs/hopefully with photos to aid in my weight loss journey. It really STINKS being fat. My back hurts, I have headaches, my energy level is LOW I feel like I'm TIRED ALL THE TIME!
SO in the short what I've learned is the best foods to keep me going and feel less hungry are packed with proteins! WATER WATER WATER is the BESET way to not only Hydrate but keep the energy level up...which I promise you I HATE! why? I LOVE SODA-POP! I LOVE carbonation that taste, oh I miss it SO much, but really all I'm drinking is calories and sugar, which I'd rather EAT because I LOVE food so much.

SO HERE ARE 3 PICTURES of the first three days I started my new healthy life (again!) Tomorrow...I'm purchasing a scale, I have never purchased a scale, I never thought i'd weigh myself only because I never wanted to, but now I have to to keep me motivated and encouraged.


[an up close of my face, with my hair just thrown up and no make up on. AHH even I'm scared of looking at it!]


[yea I got the belly but there is no baby in there. and look at those arms, YUCK!]


an here is my daily, yes DAILY battle, I'M TIRED EVERY SINGLE DAY, how can one lose weight if I feel like I won't make it through the day without a nap? The theory is well if you get 8-10 hrs at night surely you don't need a nap right? right! but I've yet to get 8+ hours of sleep each night... it sad, I really need to work on regulating my sleep schedule!!


SO there is a pick of the first 3 days of eating healthy and exercising, i haven't weighted myself so I don't think I've lost weight, but as soon as I purchase that scale tomorrow i'll be weighing myself at least weekly. SO there's the blog post for the day...I have gotten rid of all the junk food in my cabinets and fridge, tomorrow I'll be grocery shopping, getting a lot of fresh fruits and veggies! If you have any encouraging words please feel free to share!!

Younger Pastors, Older Congregants, and "GODing"

Younger Pastors, Older Congregants, and "GODing"(yes I just made up that word in hopes you will keep reading because I will answer it soon)

This topic of young and old in the church is what seems like an ongoing conversation, it never seems to go away; will we ever just learn how to get along?

If a pastor focuses on this golden aged congregants and if changes are made that increase vitality do the younger generations that are un-churched or badly churched still need the church? Do we need to focus on them still, or should we wait for them to cycle through the life stages and hope they stick around to the golden ages? Does this evangelism thing require going out of our comfort zones? I mean for surely by now everyone has heard about Jesus, why must I have evangelize to anyone. I would suggest that the answer to all of these questions previously stated is yes.

Yes we need the youth and young adults in our churches--regardless of what age group the pastor is relation to or not

Yes the younger generation needs the church, especially with the world today and the pain that brings.

Yes evangelism requires going out of your comfort zone, do you think Jesus was comfortable when he walked thousands of miles to teach about love and justice? I mean my feet hurt after one day of walking less than a mile.

Yes Jesus the person in the bible is probably known worldwide by now, and if not I'm sure there are some sort of missionaries there right now risking their lives attempting to educate people.

So what is next? I believe it’s time we start doing some "GODing” ah yes you thought i'd never get here. "GODing” This can be as complicated or as simple as you want it to be. I will attempt to make it simple. Young people, Old People, Black, white, yellow, Red, Pink and purple people need God, need to know that they are loved, that they are precious, that they are good, every. Single. Day. What is 2/3 of the word God? GO! In your search for Starbucks GO spread the love, forgiveness, grace and Mercy that God has shown you to EVERY person you relate with. In your quest to survive the day of classes, work, meetings, appointments, phone calls or whatever, try to GODing someone. More important and maybe even more special when your changing diapers, fixing dinner, helping with homework, at choir practice or bible study GO!! GODing even the people who have GODing to you. Human nature says that when we close our eyes and end the day all of our worries and doubts sail away at least for a few hours, if we decide to pick up those worries and doubts the next day we must also decide to pick up that love, grace, forgiveness, mercy and friendship that God brings us as his children too. Sometimes it is easier to pick up the worries and the doubts than the love, mercy, and Grace each day. Which is why it is important to GODing anyone, everyone, especially those closest to you every day. God is an ultimate being larger than what we can understand. God longs for us to be in relationship with him. Im not sure if there is a better way to remind, nudge, and feel Gods presence than the continual "GODing" from God's other beloved children. If the Church can adopt this "GODing" as a way to evangelize to the younger generation, to the marginalized in the local contextual settings of the church, I imagine a much more peaceful, loving, and church pew filled world. It’s not about condemning sin, that’s Gods responsibility, it’s not about teaching the right ways to do life, that’s our responsibility in response to learning to live right by what scripture, tradition, reason, and experience tells us, it’s not about increasing numbers in the pews, or on the books. It is about "GODing the world, Going, gently, loving, patiently, kindly, mercifully, gracefully, being God, and bringing God to the people today.

Can the church today become a "GODing" church? I don't know. I know I’m first going to focus on myself becoming more of a "GODing" person. Will You? The funny thing about "GODing" I’m pretty sure it doesn't matter how old you are, and I’m also pretty sure God doesn't care how old you are either, if you are "GODing" someone.

Young VS Older which is more vital and why?

Younger Vs Older Which is more vital and why? this is a continuation of my blog from yesterday.

As previously stated in my last blog of which I wrote about younger pastors serving older generational churches, I want to focus on one thing. Age, and its vitality, and how that relates to the church. This idea I am paraphrasing and editing from a theological evangelical writer named Leonard Sweet, he is probably one of the funnest 'old' white theologians i have had the privilege to read while in seminary. I highly check out his books! Any way in one of his sermons he puts forth this idea of age and how that relates to vitality especially in the church. The common thought today from the younger generation is that old people are boring, only keep company with those people of the same age, and who are just outdated to the times and what is hip, and maybe one that is not mentioned but definitely thought, these old people are filling up the pews and making worship or church unimportant or not fun. I agree with Sweet's idea that we have that all backwards today, especially in regards to the church.
Allow me to enlighten you, there are 4 primary stages of aging in life. The first is birth to 18, thats when one is still living at home, and normally still going to church. The second stage is 18-25 is the educational stage, life's biggest questions are where are you going to school and what are you studying. The third age is 25-45 sometimes before, sometimes later one becomes involved with marriage, beginning a family, this is an ambiguous time for the church, some parents want to raise their children in the church so they bring themselves back to church, others just don't find themselves going back to the church. Then there is the third stage of: 45-55, life starts to get stickier there are career changes, aging parents, maybe personal illness' such as cancer or the like where one asses the need to regain and rebuild relationships with the church, when these 45-55 year olds get plugged into a church they usually will stick with it until death. why because they feel more ownership, they have adjusted through lives major turmoils and the tough ones like burying their parents, marrying their children might require the relationships a church family can provide. Then comes the coveted Golden/retirement age 50 plus some adults work up until they die, some get the luxury of retiring and enjoy life in the slow lane again. But what then does a person do in retirement? Where does their time go? yes surely they will spend time relaxing and doing all the fun things they didn't have time to do when they were consumed with career and family. It is also at retirement that you find more people active in the church. They have spare mornings and afternoons to spend at the church going to meetings, preparing sunday school lessons or bible studies, or aiding the pastor in whatever endeavors he or she may be encountering that week. so what I suggest and what Sweet wrote about is that these retired age group of people, these old people are actually the primary people that have and should have the leadership roles in the church. why not?! why not allow someone who has the time to develop evangelistic plans during the week be allowed to be in leadership with out being discriminated on for their age? If we as pastors need something to be done, and done asap, are you going to call on your Mother of three that is a soccer mom who many not get the chance to even listen to her voicemails until midnight? (who knows when she'll get time to return your call) or as a pastor are you more likely to call someone who is enjoying their time in retirement at home, and ask them to help you with your project. I believe that those who are retired and older in our congregations would get great joy out of aiding the church in anyway they can.
So I say all that to propose that maybe, just maybe us young pastors need to refocus our energies on the people we have right before our eyes. Build relationships with the ones who have the time to spend with us, and help us bring our church back to or into more vitality, and maybe with those relationships building the church will radiate vitality into the community and the younger generations won't be able to help themselves from filling the pews, just to check out the cool hip church thats doing so many cool things for the community? thats just a thought, like I said, I want to give credit where its due, these are not original thoughts, I kind of took these thoughts from Mr. Sweet and ran with them in my own direction. I will leave you with one question does this refocusing of energies on our more vital aged members make a difference as the mission of God is portrayed in this world, or do we need to scrap all these ideas and go back to square one of how to get young people into the church?

will be continued tomorrow ;-)