just a glance at the stars

So it is July 13th a few hours away from the 14th. I've been in my new home/ at my new job about 3 weeks. I have met some of the nicest people. I have a nice big office (bigger than i've ever had before). I have a nice big house (bigger than I've ever lived in before). I am serving 2 churches that seem to be happy and excited for a new pastor. My son has adjusted and is being his ornery, 5 yr old, self. Things seem to be going awesomely (if thats not a word I just made it up). So what is this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach? What are these questions that keep haunting me? Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs GOD WHY DID YOU SEND ME WAY OUT HERE? WHY away from my family? away from my friends? away from what my normal?? And to be honest I've been asking myself these questions since the middle of April when I got the Call and came for my first visit. And to be even more honest this week has been the first week since graduation that hasn't been full of busyness that I've been able to stop, sit down, contemplate, and wrestle with these questions since April. If you are unaware. I am now serving Vienna and Rader United Methodist churches in Mid-Missouri. I now live about 35 miles south of Jefferson City and about 25 miles north of Rolla, in Vienna MO. In the COUNTRY, in a SMALL town, by far the smallest town I have ever lived in. While in seminary I anticipated this. I knew that living in a state that is 90% Rural that I would at some point in my career get appointed to a rural community. I've had a couple of good weeks in the office and in the pulpit. I'm meeting people getting the lay of the land. Doing stuff that anybody that moves to a new community should do. Except for the past 2 days I've stayed home, and played with my son, and spent time just thinking. And those questions kept coming to me. So saturday night as I read over my sermon for tomorrow a couple of more times. As I read the news and am heartbroken over the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin news (was justice really served??) So I stepped outside onto my deck, desperately seeking a touch a moment in God's presence... And what do you know, my breath was taken away by the beauty that is a country night sky. Stars so bright. everything so quiet. stars so amazingly beautiful that I could almost hear God saying to me: "stay calm, breathe deep, behold my beauty, stay strong, keep your faith, trust me." So I will take this glance at the stars, this amazing show of beauty, with me tomorrow and in the days ahead, trusting, waiting and keeping the faith that God will reveal all God needs me to know while I serve here. My prayer is that God will move so deeply inside of me that I can serve these people this community in a way that they deeply need, and that my 'stuff' doesn't get in the way. Amen.